Cleansingness && Forgivness
Okay, so I'm at my friend Vanessa's house and she fell asleep on me. I too would be asleep, but my stomach pains are a bit unbearable. Plus I have alot on my mind as it is... I don't know where to start... Let's start with last night. I spilled my insperaitional life (err... well past 6 months atleast) story to my ex-boyfriend Mark Tate. && lemme tell you, I feel soo much better now that I told someone. It took a total of 3 hours to tell, but wow... I guess you could say it was worth it.. I don't usually tell people my very private secrets, butttt for some reason.. Let me tell you a little about Mark. Some people refer to him as Jesus.. Lol, he is a totally understanding, very caring person. && lately I've been talking too him. Which is kinda strange because after we broke up we really never talked (My life changing story took place a little after we broke up). But, I can't put my finger on it but I think God wanted me to let it out?? I've kept it bottled up inside for so long. && It's been tearing me apart.. I've beat myself up for what I've did and I've balmed everything on myself, even the stuff I wasn't guilty for. && I asked for forgivness that night, and I forgave myself for everything thats happened. I used to , regret everything... But, I'm actually glad it happened, I'm a much better person now and I can see it. I've still got my flaws..but who doesnt??
&& The last thing on my mind is... I've been thinking lately.. I need someone in my life.. && if you know me at all you'd laugh at me. Im way to picky, and I can't keep a person in my life for more than 2 months? Why is that?? Everyone else dates for years at a time, but yet I'm anti-dating? I'm starting to get scared that I'm gonna end up like the old lady down the street with a million cats , all alone. (( Yea, im just in highschool, but ever since.... the begining of my time of guys my attitude towards guys hasnt changed. && If it stays that way, Im SOL))
Any advice?
<3
Kaley
&& The last thing on my mind is... I've been thinking lately.. I need someone in my life.. && if you know me at all you'd laugh at me. Im way to picky, and I can't keep a person in my life for more than 2 months? Why is that?? Everyone else dates for years at a time, but yet I'm anti-dating? I'm starting to get scared that I'm gonna end up like the old lady down the street with a million cats , all alone. (( Yea, im just in highschool, but ever since.... the begining of my time of guys my attitude towards guys hasnt changed. && If it stays that way, Im SOL))
Any advice?
<3
Kaley
posted by Kaley at 12:33 AM
1 Thougts:
=0... *is semi speechless*
But about the guy thing, I have no problem in waiting. I'm really good at it. Really good at blowing most guys off (mainly guys who think with there man hood instead of their head). I don't even waste my time with them. But its really hard to find that one guy that just wants to be friends for now and can listen and respect it. I won't find any of those in PHS.. Ha trust me.
&& dang Aunt Tracy =((.. After you did that( you know.. ) You regreted it right? 'Cause as long as you regret it and forgive yourself (and of course not do it anymore) it wont haunt you, right? (yeaaaa like I know what the heck im talking about.so I'll just hush now)
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